뭎 search Format Kindle ૮ Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back  ң Author Stephen Arterburn ख 뭎 search Format Kindle ૮ Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back ң Author Stephen Arterburn ख 1 How Can I Ever Trust You Again There is no response sufficient to answer the question posed above, no response that quite matches the gravity of a question originating from a place so deep within that it seems almost unanswerable What elements might the answer contain Time Space Specific tasks Counseling Prayer Words Actions Only God The answer can feel beyond reach And restoration may seem unattainable Unfortunately, amid the stress and hopeless feelings of a trustless relationship, many men hit the Eject button The odds appear so stacked against them, they write off the relationship regardless of how many years have been invested In my counseling office, many men tell me they feel so behind the eightball when it comes to restoring trust that they dont see the point of even trying In these cases, divorce occurs prematurely There is very little attempt at restoration, much less the full investment of time and energy required for such a venture It is terribly sad, because truth be told, these men dont really know if divorce has to be the final outcome In the shameful wake of their disclosure of a sexual failure or, commonly, being found out , many men cant muster the courage to look beyond the carnage of the present and glimpse the horizon of what could be a hopeful future If these men could only see that trust building is possible If only a man could see that someday his wife would risk her heart with him again Someday it would be possible that shed have respect and adoration for him than ever before Building trust back in a relationship damaged by sexual integrity issues is a culmination of all the aforementioned thingsand then some It is like building a sculpture out of Legos Some of the pieces include time, energy, planning, vision, willingness, creativity, persistence, patience, intentionality, hope, failure, and commitment Thats a lot of Legos Trust building is an ongoing process that consists of multiple intentional factors divinely pieced together over the course of time with a heart attitude of humility and commitment In reality, there is no formula for rebuilding trust The process cannot be precisely prescribed or predicted Trust building happens when it happens What is required of the trust builder is to continue to faithfully place pieces into the structure, not haphazardly, but methodically Not carelessly, but carefully My wife, Shelley, and I gave a talk at a MOPS mothers of preschoolers group recently, and one of the women asked Shelley how she knew she could trust me again Shelleys response was simple yet incredibly complex I just knew, she stated Not rocket science, huh To explain, she gave an example of one of our trust building tools the five minute phone call rule This rule is a mutual agreement between us that Shelley can call me at any time and expect me to answer the phone Should I not answer, I have a five minute window in which to call her back Beyond that time frame, Shelley has the right to immediately think the worst and assume I am again betraying God, her, and our relationship Any work Ive done to that point to rebuild trust is in jeopardyand she can feel that way without apology The woman who asked the question looked puzzled She didnt say anything, but the look on her face revealed skepticism that it could be that simple She looked as if she wanted to say, Thats it Thats all youve got A five minute phone call rule Yesbut also no Every phone call I get from Shelley gives me an opportunity to place a Lego on our trust sculpture Every time I pick up her call, and she verifies my whereabouts, or every time I return her call within the time window, a small element of trust is built Over time, combined with many other Lego placement opportunities, trust is gradually built and restored Shelley began to just know that she could trust me, because she could make out the essence and form of the trust sculpture, which we saw as safe, secure, and verifiable She could sense it, see it, and experience it More than anything, though, what enabled Shelley to begin to trust me was recognizing and accepting her source of security in someone other than me Shelley came to terms with the reality that she would be okay even if everything in life werent okay In particular, even if I was not okay Even if I was not trustworthy and never placed another Lego on our relational work of art, she would be okay Like Shelley, in order to change and engage the process of trust building, I, too, needed to come to terms with the truth that God was ultimately the change agent and healer He is the true trust builder He is the master architect and artist shaping any sculpture If both Shelley and I lean on him for our journey of rebuilding our relationship, then neither of us must lean against each other Because, inevitably, one of us will tire and let the other down If were leaning on each other for our ultimate source of strength and comfort, we will disappoint each other Every time And that can lead to a deep sense of hopelessness that has only one outcome calling it quits This point cannot be overemphasized If we are counting on our spouse to ultimately fulfill, complete, and restore us, we will be perpetually disappointed We will long for the next relationship, which by chance might be better, easier, fulfilling, exciting, or secure But probably not The wise King Solomon chased the next thing over and over again and came up empty He called this chasing after the wind Ecclesiastes 2 11 If a relationship is to be restored and trust reestablished, it requires the master artist crafting the sculpture We are simply responsible for placing the Legos I repeat this point because there is so much confusion about what builds trust Speaking of confusion about what builds trust, our starting point must be to clear up some of the confusion We must deal with some common misconceptions about trust building Too often I find that people have a misinformed idea of how and what builds trust Its scary to me how often I hear clients quote sometimes unwittingly a random television series line or a celebritys theory on relationships, especially as it pertains to sexual integrity Were bombarded daily with messages about how fidelity in relationships should work These are sitcom snapshots of how forgiveness and trust should look, and we are coached on how to respond to our spouse when things dont go well In the unreal entertainment world, any relational damage is quickly patched up in an episode or two If thats what you think, let me tell you straight that real life and real healing are nothing like that Part of the motivation for writing this book is to give husbands and wives a accurate idea of what the process of healing trust looks like It is long, arduous, messy, absolutely not formulaic, sometimes comical, often depressing, and always mysterious It is a process of trial and error Certainly there are similarities in the way people experience the rebuilding of trust, but at the end of the day, the process is your process As you embark on the journey of trust building, my hope is that this book will help you with insights and tools I want you to understand how trust is built after its been shattered by sexual integrity issues I also want you to have specific examples of how to employ these tools to maximize their effectiveness.What good are tools if you dont know how to use them In addition, there are two other features of this book that I hope you find useful At various points, youll find reflection and encouragement from my wife in sections labeled Shelleys Thoughts These sections are designed to give you a different angle on whats required for effective trust building I urge you to carefully read Shelleys insights and allow her input to be a voice representing your wife Finally, my coauthor, Stephen Arterburnrespected author, counselor, and host of the radio program New Life Liveoffers his wisdom on the topic of rebuilding trust in a foreword, afterword, and a series of comments throughout the text that are set off as Insight from Stephen Arterburn You will find his thoughts both challenging and encouraging as you journey through this book So lets dive in But before we begin, I want to tell you the story of a man who totally destroyed his wifes trust and then, by Gods grace, slowly won it back That man is me.Praise for Worthy of Her Trust Can you rebuild maritaltrust after sexual sin Yes, and Jason Martinkusand Stephen Arterburn will show you how Jason and his wife, Shelley, takeyou on their deeply personal and spiritual journey from betrayal to trust.Read this book and apply the principles, and you, too, can regain trust in your marriage Dr David Clarke, Christian psychologist, speaker, and author of I Don t Want a DivorceThis book opens the readers eyes to the difficult truth and reality of what it takes to rebuild trust in a relationship devastated by sexual betrayal My marriage would not have survived without Gods grace and the wisdom and essential guidance found in Worthy of Her Trust. Any man committed to winning back his wife at all costs needs to read this book Curtis, ArizonaNo matter how tragic and seemingly irreparable your marriage may be, there is hope My husband wanted to rebuild trust in a hopeless situation He learned and continues to implement the amends matrix, and he has kept 242 days of the T 30 journal We have not only experienced reconciliation, but we have been restored individually For that I am eternally grateful If you are both ready to let God redeem the past and help you build trust again, Worthy of Her Trust will show you how Susan, ColoradoFinally, for one of the darkest periods of any relationship, Jason has delivered a no nonsense, inspired approach for rebuilding shattered trust By sharing his compassion and insight, he has opened the door for true transformation and growth This is a must read book if moving forward is your goal Dave, CaliforniaWorthy of Her Trust is the go to, step by step resource for professionals or anyone seeking guidance through the trust building process Martinkus presents a model of relationship intimacybased on closeness and honestya connection that becomes both the context and motivation for the redemptive journey Bob Sklar, LMFT Worthy of Her Trust What You Need to Do Rebuild Sexual In Worthy Trust, Jason Martinkus relates how he repaired his own marriage after revelations sexual addiction Along with Stephen Arterburn, offers exercises and tools rooted in counseling principles help your begin again definition worthy by The Free Dictionary is absolutely on the catch for a husband, no one therefore can pity her losing, superior attractions another woman, chance being able make man completely wretched Integrity Win Back book every our culture who struggles sin middle B Can Few challenges life are as difficult regaining wife s trust few ultimately worthwhile Topics discussed include transparency, accountability, honesty, integrity, making restitution, forgiveness Including insights from Shelley, guides you through process rebuilding relationship so it stronger than ever Arterburn If both ready let God redeem past build again, will show Susan, Colorado Finally, darkest periods any relationship, has delivered nonsense, inspired approach shattered Therefore, wouldn t only sense start doing daily work therapist, should need believing truly ARE love Love Chapter , game thrones fanfic Amidst this, Robb stark got some random girl pregnant, preserve honor, married her, broke promise Walder Frey But As compensation, granted harrenhal arranged marriage, between uncle edmure Tully daughters Words Kathleen Rooney Poetry Foundation at end life, she wrote diary that showed still raging freedom, whole point all subterfuge, I came realize subterfugeSteve Home Facebook Steve nationally known public speaker been featured national media venues such Op New Life New Live Show America co hosts Milan Yerkovich Chris Williams pm PT Dr Sheri Keffer Alice Benton am connect carefully screened counselor agrees Statement Faith These professionals wide range needs Meet Hosts Life Meet founder chairman Ministries host syndicated Christian talk heard watched over million people each week stations nationwide, Listen Radio Online Listen broadcasts free online radio programs, ministry shows, podcasts audio sermons streaming Stephen Author Every Man Battle nation largest faith based broadcast, counseling, treatment i Keywords Christianbook Shop much Everything less Arterburn Sues Minirth PsychoHeresy Awareness Ministries filed suit against Frank Superior Court State California Orange County case listed follows CV v Posts shared post Sp S red August AM Today Women Equality Day Life Recovery Bible NLT, Personal Size David Stoop FREE shipping qualifying th Anniversary Edition points himself primary source recovery Millions have helped this articles provide fresh perspective Help leaders provided general facilitator Best selling Author, Founder Ministries, Selling Host also TV, web video channel SteveArterburn Twitter latest Tweets Husband, father author NewLifeLive ch Addiction, Pornography Nov Steven tells story set him healed many broken places He talks about pornography, homosex Recent TV LIKE THERAPY ON DEMAND That what subscribers say And find inside Here exclusively TV there hundreds added daily, transform Broadcast Archives Live Browse broadcast archives Toxic Jack Felton Toxic Experiencing Healing Painful Spiritual Abuse When religion becomes means avoid or control Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back

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