ّ digital Out of a Far Country: A Gay Son's Journey to God. A Broken Mother's Search for Hope. 㔅 Book Author Christopher Yuan ᒔ ّ digital Out of a Far Country: A Gay Son's Journey to God. A Broken Mother's Search for Hope. 㔅 Book Author Christopher Yuan ᒔ The End of My WorldAngela May 15, 1993It was May in Chicago The warmth of spring was starting to wrap its arms around the city we had called home for twenty four years But that night we sat in silence, picking at our stir fry with forks as cold and hard as our hearts.Dinner was miserable, and it had nothing to do with the food Youd think that after so many years of living with my disconnected but often argumentative husband, Leon, Id be used to misery But this night was unusually dismal.Our younger son, Christopher, was home for a visit He had just finished his junior year of dental school in Louisville, Kentucky, after transferring from Loyola University School of Dentistry in Chicago the previous fall Leon, a dentist himself, was glad that Christopher was following in his footsteps It was expected that in a year father and son would be working together in our new dental office.Of course, I too had been looking forward to Christophers visit Like any good Chinese mother, I doted on our two sons, but Christopher and I had always been especially close Normally his being at home would keep the tension in our home from boiling over But Christophers presence at the dinner table tonight only elevated our familys permanent state of emotional strain.A few days before Christopher had come home, Leon was checking the insulation in the crawl space just off Christophers bedroom On his way out of the crawl space, the beam from his flashlight landed on somethingtucked away on top of the small access opening He discovered an unlabeled VHS tape in a worn cardboard case, which he brought downstairs to show me.As soon as I saw the dusty videocassette, I froze I knew what it was, but everything inside me hoped it wasnt The truth was, for six years I had feared that Christophers problem had never really gone away I couldnt bring myself to watch what was on the tape, so I asked Leon to do it He took it from my hand and went into the living room to play it Finally, he walked back into the kitchen, dropped the tape on the counter, and said, Yes, its that.That He couldnt even say the word It was gay pornography I immediately thought back to when Christopher was sixteen years old and I found out from his brother that he had had a sexual relationship with a thirty year old man Christopher had contacted the man, who then invited him over Sure, Christopher may have sought the man out, but no matter how you look at it, this man had used and soiled my son Words cannot express what I felt at that time Sadness and deep anguish overwhelmed me But I was also furious at the man who took advantage of my son Christopher was robbed of the chance to be a normal teenager, and whats worse, I couldnt tell anyone about it I wanted to see this man brought to justice, but that meant making a horrific private matter a public one And I would not allow Christopher to go through that humiliation We decided not to press charges, choosing instead to keep the heartache and shame a secret.Added to the terrible disgrace was constant anxiety During Christophers teenage years, my days were filled with fear I worried about what people would say if they found out I worried about how much Christopher was scarred, and whether his future would be affected by this incident.I especially worried about whether he would becomegay.Even though this was a very private matter, I knew we should do something to find help That same day, I had been flipping through material from a dental office management company This company helped us better manage our practice in order to increase the dental office income In this literature, I read about a counseling program offered by the parent organization It promised resources for dealing with lifes problems, and the sponsoring organization was the Church of Scientology I had never heard of Scientology I was skeptical, but desperate I would do anything to fix my son.So Christopher and I traveled from Chicago to the Scientology Mission of San Francisco, where we enrolled in a program that required us to be there mornings and afternoons for two months Certainly, their techniques were a little bizarresitting in a sauna for hours or holding metal cans during counseling, or auditing, sessions But I was determined to beat thisfor Christophers sake Failure was not an option that I was willing to consider.After two months and move than fifteen thousand dollars, we finished the purification program More important, Christopher assured me that he was over that phase and ready to move on with life I thought we had it all taken care of.But on a beautiful Sunday afternoon in May 1993, I sat picking at my stir fry I was waiting for the right moment to say something, but I had no idea what to say I glanced to my right at Leon, trying to read his dark eyes Was he going to confront Christopher as I wished, or wasnt he He briefly looked at me, then resumed his eating, oblivious to my agony Leon wasnt going to say anything, and as always his indifference drove me crazy Once again, we werent on the same page Once again, he had no idea how I felt.I could tell that Christopher knew I was upset Our relationship had been strained in recent months Hed been acting rudely to me like a resentful teenager than a twenty two year old doctoral student And this night only added to the tension He kept looking at his watch and seemed to be contemplating a quick exit.Leon still hadnt said anything, and Christopher was about to leave the table I needed an answer from my son, and I knew I had to speak up If homosexuality was still a problem for Christopher, then we needed to take action.Christopher, Dad found a videotape in your crawl space My voice was shakingwith fear, with despair I never shied away from confrontation, but this was different.Christopher looked at me with a blank face No emotion, no guilt, not even surprise.Dad watched it, I whispered I swallowed hard, wishing this were a nightmare and I would wake up and everything would be okay I wished my son would tell me what I wanted to heareven if it wasnt true Besides, how could Christopher still be that After all I had done for him But he just kept giving me that empty look.ChristopherI forced the words outare youare you still The question hung there, but only for a moment Christopher sat up straight, looked me in the eyes, and with a voice full of resolve said, Yes I am I am gay.He spoke confidently, without disgrace or apology I couldnt believe my ears There was such boldness, as if he were proud of it But shame swept over me This couldnt be true Not my son, not my Christopher At that moment, I wished the house would fall down on us and put an end to this mess.Id always had our lives all figured out Christopher and his brother would grow up and accomplish important things in the world They were both studying to be dentists They would return home when they earned their degrees, join their fathers practice, and ultimately inherit the family business Leon and I were just then completing a brand new, state of theart dental office I would be at the helm, managing the office and making sure everything ran like a well oiled machine It would give me the life I longed forspending time with my family and keeping us all together But now this.Ilooked from my son to my husband and back again I was as disappointed with Leon as I had ever been Even though our marriage was totally lifeless, at least he should be concerned about his own son So today, with Christopher announcing he was gay, why wasnt Leon stepping in to do something Why didnt he say anything Why wasnt he outraged Why wasnt he telling Christopher that he was not, could not begay It was obvious to me that Christopher was not thinking clearly Didnt he know that he couldnt choose bothto be a dentist and to live like that If people knew, Leon would lose his patients If people knew, no staff would work with us If people knew, they would be afraid of getting AIDS Christopher needed to come to his senses and be reminded thatthis family practice was everything It had been our one dreameverything we had worked towardfor almost twenty years.Christopher, I blurted out his name in frustration You must choose You must choose the family or choose homosexuality This ultimatum would wake him up He would have to choose his family and not throw away this bright future in our new office.My son looked at me and said, Its not something I can choose I was born this way I am gay He took a deep breath and looked away His neck tightened and his jaw clenched as he looked back at me with an expression I had never seen before If you cant accept me, then I have no other choice but to leave.He backed away from the table and uttered one last cutting remark.I expected youd react like this But thats okay I have a family A real family of friends back in Louisville who accept mehis voice cracked for exactly who I am.He went to his room In a few minutes he came back through the house with his bags and walked out the door It was as if he had planned this all along There was no room for discussion, no time for negotiation That was it This was the end.My knees gave way, and I fell to the floor I felt as if my blood drained out of my body My arms, my hands, my legs were cold as ice The weight of shock and disbelief weighed so heavily on my chest that I had to strain just to breathe This couldnt be happening.I began gasping for air I was choking on my tears, knowing without question that I was a total failure My marriage had been a failure for years, and now my parenting was a failure My husband refused to stand by me My older son had rebelled And now Christopher, the one I thought would never do this to me, had rejected me.I wanted to make Christopher stay, but I was out of options And Leon still hadnt said anything He didnt yell at Christopher or argue with him Neither did he put his arm around me or hold my hand He just walked away, leaving me lying on the floor alone, gasping between sobs.A thought entered my mind, a memory of something Leons mother had told him My mother in law had said a wife uses three tricks when she doesnt get her way First she cries, second she throws a temper tantrum, third she threatens to hang herself On that day, I was not playing any tricks I was certain that I had nothing left to live for.Praise for Out of a Far Country Christopher Yuan and Angela Yuan have told the story of their miraculous journey from broken lives, relationships, and dreams to a place of hope and healing Out of a Far Country brings home the living truth that in the midst of a broken and hurting world, God is at work to redeem, renew, and reconcile his beloved Im particularly happy to endorse this book because Christopher, like myself, was broken in prison and redeemed by Christ.Chuck Colson, founder of Prison Fellowship and the Chuck Colson Center for Christian Worldview Out of a Far Country reads like a modern rendition of the prodigal son parable, only it is gripping The journey taken by Christopher Yuan is rarely documented Be prepared, for the raw emotions of both mother and son authentically mark every page The spiritual lessons to be gained from this book are many May it gain a vast audience J Paul Nyquist, PhD, president of Moody Bible InstituteThis is a moving account of how an Asian mothers fragile love turns into a prayerful, patient, and tenacious force of forgiveness It is also a gripping narrative of a sons search for belonging and meaning Out of a Far Country breeds hope in every despairing heart.Lisa Espineli Chinn, director of International Student Ministries for InterVarsity USAThe Good Shepherd knows his sheep and calls them by name Christopher Yuan, trapped in a life of drugs and sexual addiction, heard that call and rose to follow Jesus His and his mothers account of that rising is a profound story of redemption that all of us in this broken generation need to hear.Duane Litfin, president emeritus of Wheaton College in IllinoisRelevant, courageous, fascinating, and much I have known the Yuans for many years, and their walk is in line with their talk This important and needed story goes against the wind, but it is one hundred percent in the right direction.Dr George Verwer, founder and former international director of Operation Mobilisation Out of a Far Country is a true life parable of saving grace for a prodigal mother and a wayward son who needed Gods forgiveness Their story will warm the heart and lift the spirit of every parent who prays for a wandering child and every believer who needs to be reminded why the gospel is good news.Dr Philip G Ryken, president of Wheaton College in IllinoisAt one point, Angela and Christopher were living worlds apart I have heard their story countless times, and it never grows old I know you will be amazed by the God who did the impossible to bring this mother and son back together.Alan Chambers, president of Exodus InternationalThis is the story of Gods persistent chase of a wayward son through the prayers and love of a determined mother But even , it is a testimony to the fact that loving God is a far satisfying pursuit than following our own desires I am thankful that Christopher and Angela are willing to be so transparent about their journey Christophers desire to follow Christ regardless of the struggle stands as a model for all who desire to love God with all their heart.Dr Joseph M Stowell, president of Cornerstone University in Grand Rapids, MichiganGod snatched Christopher Yuan from a desperately empty life and offered him the hope of Jesus Christ This is a story of Gods redemption, love, and mercy in the midst of overwhelming sin and a heart that was far from God Get two copies of this bookyou will want to give one to a friend who needs Jesus.Dr James MacDonald, senior pastor of Harvest Bible Chapel in Rolling Meadows, IllinoisThe story of Angela Yuan and Christopher Yuan, Out of a Far Country, will minister rich grace and hope to mothers who are praying for the return of a prodigal, to the prodigals they love, and to anyone battling a sinful addiction that seems impossible to overcome This is a deeply moving account of Gods amazing power and love.Nancy Leigh DeMoss, best selling author, host of the Revive Our Hearts radio program Out Magazine Gay Lesbian Travel, Fashion Culture The road to fame can be a lonely path Luckily, these two have each other Being productive is all about using the right tools With seamless integrations, travel and delivery action cards, our Focused Inbox that automatically sorts what s importanYuan dynasty Wikipedia In , Kublai Khan imposed name Great Yuan Chinese pinyin D Yun Wade Giles Ta Yan establishing from clause d z i Qin Qin, Primal in Commentaries on Classic of Changes section regarding first hexagram QinThe counterpart Mongolian language was Dai Journal Oral Maxillofacial Surgery Home Page American Association Surgeons 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RESOURCES ON THE WEB Site Index Current art history news, comments, updates, pictures, videos, reviews, information posted FACEBOOK Dr LCE Witcombe Set Record Defaults, Downgrades Tip More Jul companies reneged billion bond payments so far this year, compared high seen according Christopher christopheryuan Twitter latest Tweets I m Christian speaker, author Bible teacher tweet matters related Why God Is Wrong About March Matthew Vines video YouTube being gay sin, does condemn, loving, committed same relationships spoke Leaving Behind A Double Life CBN CBN My parents really wanted hold onto heritage So even though we were America, still distinct son immigrants Although he born United States, never felt like fit his classmates Facebook This great solace knowing my own futile words incline no heart towards God, but only precious breathed lips Spirit Profiles View profiles people named Join Facebook connect others know gives YouTube On February returned transferred Federal Prison Camp Marion, IL Salvation Army Halfway House Chicago, Far Country Son Journey Broken co authored mother, Angela striking, transparent memoir entitled, Out Mother Search Hope has impacted life personally Dr Daystar Television Guest Guide teaches at Moody Institute, mother their memoir, Christian Leader Same Sex Attraction Has Mixed pastor Hope, provided Post statement Friday news experienced reparative therapy, orientation counseling or Exodus support groups cannot speak effectiveness harm such methodologies, said How Engage Today Marriage Debate considers how Christians should engage today debate homosexuality LinkedIn professionals LinkedIn There use exchange information, ideas, opportunities profile Your colleagues, classmates, million Full Profile Christ Wesleyan Church taught Institute over ten speaking ministry faith sexuality reached continents Living Holy Midst As shared last blog, deeply appreciate excellent new book Sexuality Gospel Sex, Desire, Relationships Shaped Grand Story 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